Slaughtering Barbie

Image Courtesy of MargauxLange.com

Lord I just went down a crazy barbie inspired internet wormhole and it all started innocently when trolling for jewelry.   I will never be a Barbie, not even close, I mean the girl has outrageous proportions that I could not achieve with any form of working out, plastic, tanning, botox, permanent makeup, or hair bleach. According to this, in life-sized proportions Barbie would be  six feet tall with a 39″ bust, 18″ waist, 33″ hip.  18 Inch waist!!! Seriously? My three year old has an 18 inch waist.

As much as I loved playing with these gals as a little girl I always felt like they were mythical creatures or aliens and for some reason I never wanted to be her. I mean she had no nipples, fused fingers and toes and androgynous genitalia. To me that was weird, not something I wanted to be and I just didn’t relate to her.  I am a short brunette and lets be honest no matter how many brown haired or ethnic barbies Mattel made/makes, they all just felt/feel like some afterthought or some type of marketing overcompensation for their initial mistake of making the original Barbie image ridiculously unobtainable in real life.  Most people get that as they get older, but there are some don’t, like this crazy gal she apparently won’t stay away from the knife and plastic injections until she is Barbie…gross!
Sometimes I am grateful I don’t have a little girl. With all the princess shit being shoved down little girl’s throats these days, it would be difficult to keep them away from the path to plastic surgery.  I am not saying I am against plastic surgery all together, there are obviously times when it is helpful for reconstruction and repair. And I am certainly not against other cosmetic procedures that help women to feel more confident in their own skin, but I do think that it is an incredibly slippery slope that you need to have good foundation in self-esteem before you even venture in that direction. No one wants to get sucked in and end up looking like this lady.

I recently went to Phoenix and Scottsdale and was surprised when I looked around and saw all the young girls with fake boobs and fake hair. But, then I remembered that I used to live in Florida where they regularly ran radio contests giving away free boobs, and girls often got consent from their parents so they could go under the knife before they were 18.  It was the norm, not the exception.  I also remembered that I now live in Portland where it would be much more normal to walk around wearing slaughtered pieces of plastic Barbie as jewelry than putting that plastic inside your body and for that I am grateful.  Plus Margaux Lange makes some really interestingly artistic pieces. Check our her gallery or her shop on Etsy.

Image Courtesy of MargauxLange.com

Image Courtesy of MargauxLange.com

On a side note one site that is the antithesis of Barbie, and is incredible for post-pregnancy body self esteem, is  The Shape of a Mother. It is a powerful site where woman celebrate their bodies after pregnancy. They wear their imperfections like a badge of honor and they support each other when their feeling blue about their body. I was never brave enough to post a picture of my body, but I applaud the women who have.  Also, if you just want to have a laugh at all the ridiculous plastic surgery that Hollywood puts upon themselves, go to Awful Plastic Surgery.

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