Potty Training for the Mobile Elite

Why haven’t I been posting lately you ask?  I made a conscious effort to scale back my social media content sharing to tackle this biotch they call potty training!

If someone had told me that I would one day be showing a little boy how to “hold it” so that he doesn’t spray the entire toilet seat, floor, walls and his own feet, I would have said, no thank you to babes. Not really, but this potty training business is hard, time consuming, smelly and did I say hard?  It is harder than managing a team of introverted developers, sassy designers or flock of precocious AEs. Harder than any other job I have done. As per usual, I am on a tight deadline too. I have two weeks before he MUST be trained or no pre-school for you buddy. Did I ever mention how strong willed he is? Trying to get him to the throne is like trying to pull assets out of a disengaged client. I fear in desperation I may end up supplying the content for this project myself. Ewe!  He is everything my mother warned me about when I was being a bad kid. I can still hear her shout “Sheryl Ann Hooper, you are in BIG BIG Trouble! When you have kids, they will pay you back for this tenfold! ”  Mom, once again you were right, yesterday he pissed in the dog dish as if it were a toilet. I’m screwed.

The worst part is that it is all I can Tweet, Facebook, email and chat about with my friends about over lunch. It is even creeping into my happy hour discussions. I have yet to Instagr.am photos of my successes and for nothing else that single fact may be why my followers haven’t hit the “unfollow” button en masse. Yet here I am posting about it on my social media and mobile technology blog. I can’t help it. I want others to share in my pain, but I also want to share how technology is helping me if only but a bit.

As of late I have employed the iPad as an incentive aid and it works great to get him to poop. If he is goes number 2 he gets to download a new app. Did you know how many free apps there are for kids?  A ton. I don’t even care if he ever plays the app.  The reward is in the feeling he gets when he downloads something he picked out. True, I spent some time  last night deleting useless apps, but it was time better spent than cleaning poop from Spider Man underwear.  This technique was working swimmingly until my 1 year-old yanked the iPad off a shelf shattering the screen yesterday, ironically while I was in the bathroom showing my 3 year how to stand up to pee, which is something I readily admit I know nothing about. Hence , I have one less tool in my arsenal. It still functions, but I fear glass shards in 3 year-old fingers is not worth the help it has been giving me.  I think I will switch to iPhone apps. Did I mention this is the second iPad my kids have destroyed?  I guess that is the price you pay for raising the earliest of technology adopters.

In other attempts at beating this thing, I also downloaded the Huggies Pull-up Potty Training App, that is essentially a watch/timer that calls him at intervals set by me and reminds him to run to the pisser. He then gets virtual stars for successful potty breaks. I think the app stinks, but he seems to love it, mostly I think because if there is one thing that motivates my kid it is getting a gold star. He is an over-achiever to the core. I wonder where he gets that? The app is free so I recommend trying it to see if it works for you and your little one.

That is all the advice I have for potty training the mobile elite.  To be encouraging, I will share that after all the cleaning, wiping, and breaking of iPad screens the past few days, the first words out of Jack’s mouth this morning were “Mommy, I am going to the potty”and he promptly did just that. No spills, no dribbles, no mess and most importantly in his big boy potty. I think we are on a new roll! Don’t you worry, I will be back to sharing other useless content in no time.

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  1. Beth
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 11:49 am | Permalink

    Ah… the dreaded pre-school requirement. I wondered what, if anything, besides your type-A personality, was driving you on such a mission to get him trained. I have to admit I was a laissez-faire kind of mom when it came to potty-training. I did the stars & reward chart, for like a day, more for John’s sake than anything, and then let it go. And they all got it eventually. But unlike you I did not have the pre-school think hanging over my head.

    Love ya!

    I hope all goes well and that our little man continues to do his peeps & doods on the big-boy pot and not in any more of Hanna’s bowls. Although, I have to admit, reading that made me crack right up. So hilarious and so Jack! Paybacks are a bitch little sister… and you have many, many more to come… as do I. Just think of all the hell Mom must have put Gramma Helen through to get the both of us!

  2. Ryan
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    The pre-school requirement scared us too. We thought Klaire would never make it, and in truth she didn’t. She was mostly trained, but still had a lot of accidents. However, the one place she never had an accident was pre-school. I’m not sure what it was, but I think because she knew that daddy and mommy weren’t there to fix it, that she better not make a mess in the first place. I think it goes along with that you kids are always better for other people.

    • Appatomy
      Posted September 15, 2011 at 10:42 am | Permalink

      I hope that is what happens for us!

  3. jeff
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    I just love that he pissed in the dog dish.

    • Appatomy
      Posted September 15, 2011 at 10:42 am | Permalink

      It was classic!