Why haven’t I been posting lately you ask? I made a conscious effort to scale back my social media content sharing to tackle this biotch they call potty training!
If someone had told me that I would one day be showing a little boy how to “hold it” so that he doesn’t spray the entire toilet seat, floor, walls and his own feet, I would have said, no thank you to babes. Not really, but this potty training business is hard, time consuming, smelly and did I say hard? It is harder than managing a team of introverted developers, sassy designers or flock of precocious AEs. Harder than any other job I have done. As per usual, I am on a tight deadline too. I have two weeks before he MUST be trained or no pre-school for you buddy. Did I ever mention how strong willed he is? Trying to get him to the throne is like trying to pull assets out of a disengaged client. I fear in desperation I may end up supplying the content for this project myself. Ewe! He is everything my mother warned me about when I was being a bad kid. I can still hear her shout “Sheryl Ann Hooper, you are in BIG BIG Trouble! When you have kids, they will pay you back for this tenfold! ” Mom, once again you were right, yesterday he pissed in the dog dish as if it were a toilet. I’m screwed.
The worst part is that it is all I can Tweet, Facebook, email and chat about with my friends about over lunch. It is even creeping into my happy hour discussions. I have yet to Instagr.am photos of my successes and for nothing else that single fact may be why my followers haven’t hit the “unfollow” button en masse. Yet here I am posting about it on my social media and mobile technology blog. I can’t help it. I want others to share in my pain, but I also want to share how technology is helping me if only but a bit.
As of late I have employed the iPad as an incentive aid and it works great to get him to poop. If he is goes number 2 he gets to download a new app. Did you know how many free apps there are for kids? A ton. I don’t even care if he ever plays the app. The reward is in the feeling he gets when he downloads something he picked out. True, I spent some time last night deleting useless apps, but it was time better spent than cleaning poop from Spider Man underwear. This technique was working swimmingly until my 1 year-old yanked the iPad off a shelf shattering the screen yesterday, ironically while I was in the bathroom showing my 3 year how to stand up to pee, which is something I readily admit I know nothing about. Hence , I have one less tool in my arsenal. It still functions, but I fear glass shards in 3 year-old fingers is not worth the help it has been giving me. I think I will switch to iPhone apps. Did I mention this is the second iPad my kids have destroyed? I guess that is the price you pay for raising the earliest of technology adopters.
In other attempts at beating this thing, I also downloaded the Huggies Pull-up Potty Training App, that is essentially a watch/timer that calls him at intervals set by me and reminds him to run to the pisser. He then gets virtual stars for successful potty breaks. I think the app stinks, but he seems to love it, mostly I think because if there is one thing that motivates my kid it is getting a gold star. He is an over-achiever to the core. I wonder where he gets that? The app is free so I recommend trying it to see if it works for you and your little one.
That is all the advice I have for potty training the mobile elite. To be encouraging, I will share that after all the cleaning, wiping, and breaking of iPad screens the past few days, the first words out of Jack’s mouth this morning were “Mommy, I am going to the potty”and he promptly did just that. No spills, no dribbles, no mess and most importantly in his big boy potty. I think we are on a new roll! Don’t you worry, I will be back to sharing other useless content in no time.